Wholesale Anime Slaughter!
by Neurotic Narraku
Summary: What happens when Gundam, Outlaw Star, DBZ, Tenchi, Digimon, and Pokemon collide with my twisted imagination. Rated R for some foul language, gory violence, and use of illicit drugs. Read and Review!!


Well, this is my first attempt at a Fan-fiction.tell me what you think. It combines Tenchi Universe, Dragon Ball Z, Outlaw Star, Gundam Wing, and, indeed, even Pokemon and Digimon, and my own twisted imagination and sense of humor. Everyone dies. So if offend you by killing your favorite character I'm sorry. And Voices in the wind, if you read this.I'M SORRY!!! DON'T KILL ME!! (She knows me in real life.) (Also, please ignore the ludicrously dumb things.it makes for a more bizarre reading experience. (IE Tenchi allowing Noboyuki to be shot out of a cannon)-Neurotic Narraku  
  
  
  
WHOLESALE ANIME SLAUGHTER!  
  
High above a planet, 2 of the greatest fighters in the universe met. The planet: Namek. The warriors: the mighty Super Saya-jin Goku, and the sadistic space tyrant, Frieza.  
  
"I must prepare my Suerspicyeggfooyoungpowerramakamehamehaenergybeamwave attack!!" Goku said.  
  
"Oh no! Not the Superspiceyeggfooyoungpowerramakamehamehamehaenergybeamwave attack!! I can't dodge or deflect that!!!" Frieza whined pathetically.  
  
"SU..PER...SPI...CY.." Goku began charging his energy attack. Suddenly, a howling "MREOWWWWWWWW!" pierced the void of space. Both warriors looked in the direction it came from. They saw a large, brown, pointy ship with a red gem in the middle of its front flying at them. They both attempted to dodge, but were too late, and were splatter against the gem like tiny insects, pieces of them flying off into the great unknown.  
  
  
  
"What the hell was that!?!!" Ryoko exclaimed to herself as she saw the beings splat against the gem she was looking out of. "Damn intergalactic space ninjas..Ryo-oh-ki, turn on your windshield wipers."  
  
A dazed, tired young girl with blue hair and pink eyes walked into the bridge.  
  
"Ryoko.what was that crunchy splat noise?" Sasami asked the space pirate sleepily.  
  
"Er.Nothing, Princess Sasami, nothing at all." Ryoko said grinning stupidly with little bubbly thingys popping above her head. "Go back to you room."  
  
"OK."  
  
I hope we get back to Earth soon, Ryoko thought to herself.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, outside Ryo-oh-oki, another ship sat in wait. It was a red ship, the XGP..better known as..The Outlaw Star.  
  
"Gene, I've got the target on radar," a rather soulless voice said. The red haired man looked up.  
  
"What was that, Gilliam? Ryo-oh-ki? It's here? Melfina, target it!!" Gene shouted.  
  
"Target lock acquired," Said a soft female voice.  
  
"Good! Jim! Fire missiles! Aisha! Suzuka! Get ready for action!" Gene ordered the rest of the crew, a young blonde boy, a white haired cat-woman, and another tall dark haired woman. A swarm of missiles blasted toward the interstellar Cabbit.  
  
  
  
"AHH!!! Were being shot at! Brace for impact!" The short, pink haired girl screamed. "Ryo-oh-ki! Fire back!!"  
  
The Cabbit shot laser after laser, and shot down each missile.but barely. She then turned her guns on the ship itself and blasted it in a hail of energy blasts. To the Cabbit crew's horror, the pilot maneuvered the ship and dodged each shot.  
  
"Who are they?!" Ayeka demanded.  
  
"Hold on I'm scanning..got it, they're a group of Outlaws, a man named Gene Starwind, a boy, Jim Hawking, and 3 women, one an alien, a Ctarl- Ctarl..cat woman.named Aisha Clan-Clan, the other two are named Twilight Suzuka and Melfina.just 'Melfina.' They're infamous and quite good.we have no choice. Tenchi!"  
  
A boy looked up at Washyuu. "Ready..the Mon Cannon!!"  
  
"Washyuu! A-Are you sure? I mean, isn't that a bit drastic?" Tenchi stammered.  
  
"DO IT!!!!!!" Washyuu shouted.  
  
"Ok..." Tenchi obediently walked to the ammunition storage room.  
  
He walked by a huge array of missiles, shells and bombs, to a room marked "DANGER: MON CANNON AMMUNITION. ENETER AT YOUR OWN RISK." Tenchi took a deep breath and opened the door. He looked around, and found what he was looking for. A yellow mouse like creature. "You there. You're coming with me," Tenchi demanded. He picked up the rodent, and walked up to the Mon Cannon.  
  
"Pika! Pi!!" The annoying creature protested. Tenchi ignored its pleas and shoved it into the Cannon's chamber.  
  
"Washyuu! The Cannon's ready!" He shouted.  
  
"RIGHT!! RYOKO! FIRE!" Washyuu yelled.  
  
Ryoko hit a big, red button labeled "DO NOT PUSH". A Giant cannon extended right above the gem. It fired, and a scream of "PIIIIIKAAAACHUUUUUUU!" could be heard, getting more and more distant.  
  
This oughta do the trick. Heh heh heh.Washyuu thought to herself.  
  
  
  
"Attention: Strange weapons are approaching. Attention: Strange weapons are approaching," Gilliam warned.  
  
"Wha-" Gene was cut off in mid sentence as something hit the Outlaw Star with a sickening THUD! He looked up, and saw a yellow rodent, with its head smashed apart, sticking through the hull. "What the hell is that?!!!" Gene shouted. SPLUTCH! The Pikachu's gooey innards dribbled out from its mangled corpse and hit Gene in the face.  
  
Gene wiped the goo from his face and puked all over the controls. The creatures continually bombarded the Outlaw Star, but they couldn't remove any that punched through, as they were the only things keeping the XGP from explosively decompressing.  
  
"That's it; Grappler Arms ready.and CHARGE!!" Gene shouted.  
  
"Ack! Quick! Grab another Mon to shoot out the Cannon!" Ryoko yelled.  
  
Tenchi ran the Ammo Room, and saw only one left.a little orange-yellow dinosaur like creature.  
  
"You there.Agumon, was your name? Come with me!" Tenchi demanded.  
  
"No way! You-" Agumon was cut off in mid-sentence as Ryoko materialized through the ceiling, and conked the little freak out with a dimensional hammer.  
  
"Thanks," Tenchi said. He grabbed Agumon by his neck, shoved him in the Cannon. Ryoko pressed the button and shot the disturbing little thing at the enemy ship as it sped toward them.  
  
"It didn't stop it!" Washyuu wailed. "Wait." she said. She then grinned evilly. She pressed a button below an intercom and spoke. "Oh Noboyuki. could you come here for a minute?"  
  
Noboyuki came running. "Ermm.yes, Washyuu, what is it?"  
  
"Hey, Noboyuki, the cannon's jammed. Climb in and clean it out for me, please." Washyuu said slyly.  
  
"OK..." Noboyuki obediently climbed into the cannon. Suddenly, Washyuu slammed the chamber shut and pressed the fire button. Noboyuki flew out of the cannon and straight into one of the XGP's grappling arms. His blood, bones, and innards shorted out the circuitry in one arm, rendering it useless.  
  
"It's still coming!!" Tenchi shouted, not exactly caring that his father was just splattered against a spaceship.  
  
"Gene, one of the Grappler Arms has been disabled!" Melfina said urgently.  
  
"Oh, crap!" Gene complained. "That's it, were in range! We still have 3 arms!! DIE!!!!!!" He proceeded to bitch-slap Ryo-oh-oki with the remaining arms. He aimed for the gem in the middle of the enemy ship. The gem cracked, and then broke. The ship sparked, sputtered and then exploded, killing everyone on board. In the explosion another Grappling Arm was melted off, and drifted out into space with the rest of the debris. Gene breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"That was close.and those arms are going to be a fortune to fix! It's a good thing we finished this mission.let's get back to Heiphong!"  
  
"Isn't that the target, Heero?" The boy looked into his mecha's targeting computer.  
  
Another voice crackled over the intercom "Yes, Quatre. Alright, let's go!!"  
  
"This is Wing 0 to the team! Ready?!"  
  
"This is Duo, and Death-Scythe's ready to go!"  
  
"Trowa here, Heavy Arms is go!"  
  
"Quatre reporting, Sandrock's in good shape!"  
  
"Wu-Fei.Nataku's good to go!"  
  
"Shiro here.I'm ready!"  
  
"This is Sanders.let's rock!"  
  
"Aina here, I'm ready!"  
  
"Karen here, let's get 'em!"  
  
"Amarou, reporting all systems green!"  
  
"LET'S GO!!" Duo screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
"Warning: more strange weapons are approaching! Count: seven mobile suits, known as 'Gundams!'" Gilliam said.  
  
"Oh sonuva. I'm getting really sick of this!" Jim complained.  
  
"Were outta ammo! Grappler arms ready! Let's go!!" Gene shouted. He charged at two of the Gundams, the two with rifles and shields. He grabbed their chests with his claws, and squeezed. He tapped into their communications and heard two screams. He smiled in grim satisfaction, and chucked them at the 2 of the other Gundams that looked like these two. All four exploded in a huge fireball, and the third one that looked similar was caught up in it. (Author's clarification: Amarou, Aina, Shiro, Sanders, and Karen just got wasted!!)  
  
"Gee, that was easy.but these other 5 look different." Aisha commented.  
  
The black Gundam opened fire with its machinegun. Fortunately, the Digi- and Pokemon stuck in the ship caught most of the bullets, the rest causing minimal damage. The Gundam charged at the Outlaw Star, wielding two sickles. The Outlaw Star whipped out its HUGE cleaver, and cut the charging mobile suit into to pieces vertically. It then blew up.  
  
"QUATRE! NOOO!" Trowa shouted angrily. "You MONSTERS!" He yelled. He then emptied all of his machinegun magazines and missiles into the Outlaw Star. Again, the Pokemon caught a lot of the bullets, and the arms defleceted this missiles, but a third arm was destroyed in the process. The Outlaw Star turned its cleaver on Heavy Arms. and the Gundam was defenseless. The XGP sliced this Gundam in half, too.and then there were 3. Heero, now completely spazzed out because of grief, adrenaline, Wing Zero's mind altering affects. oh, and the weed and shrooms he'd done before the battle, fired his main guns at the Outlaw Star. Needless to say, the Digimon were no protection and the Outlaw Star was obliterated in a gigantic fireball.  
  
"Looks like we got them," Wu-Fei sighed. Heero then turned his guns on Death-Scythe and Nataku.  
  
"GAA!!! ORANGE ELEPHANTS!" He screamed, and blew both Gundams to pieces. Gwen Kahn appeared on Heero's vid-screen.  
  
"What have you done!? You've destroyed the XGP! I needed that in tact for study! You've ruined it! Yes yes, you get no payment for this mission, no, not at all, no no!" The old man muttered. Heero, thinking Kahn was speaking to him from Wing Zero's main power source, promptly self-destructed. Gwen Khan, obviously a stoner, died of a crack overdose later that week. Fred Luo hung himself upon hearing about Gene's death. The McDougals.hmm.what happened to them. Eh, they crashed into an asteroid. (Sorry, I'm running out of ways to kill people.) And most of Anime's most beloved characters died. The End.  
  
Well, my first fan-fic. What did you think? You all think I'm crazy, stupid, hilarious, or any combination of the three! Feel free to write reviews, comments, questions, death threats.well, not death threats, that'll get ya kicked off Fanfiction.net.and don't worry, I SWEAR my next one will be more serious, better, and not deliberately annoying. Unless you'd rather I continued to write this kind of crazy story. Anyway, why are you still readin' this!!? Write comments! Now!!!! Thank you. 


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